-7 WEEKS
Hello Baby Bug, this is how my life has gone so far. Thanks to you, my "Forty things" list will be really really different. <3
10 things I cared about at 20 that I no longer care about at 30:
1) microscopic analysis
2) pulling all-nighters
3) Tennessee whiskey
4) the Krebs cycle
5) playing the flute
6) not showering before opening presents on Christmas morn
7) getting A's
8) Japanese animation in binge-level quantities
9) being perceived as compentent if not perfect at all times
10) diet Pepsi
10 things I care about at 30 that I didn't care about at 20:
1) the flora of Northern California
2) becoming a teacher
3) knitting
4) getting all my fruit from farmer's markets
5) parenting styles and philosophies
6) canine dental hygiene
7) yoga
8) drinking organic milk
9) flossing
10) getting sufficient amounts of vitamin D
10 things I cared about at 20 that I still care about at 30:
1) photography
2) Fibonacci numbers
3) drinking enough water
4) incandescent ambient lighting
5) not owning a TV or an air conditioner
6) camping
7) Christmas lights
8) numinosity and the human mind
9) macaroni and cheese
10) Ben
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
My learning curve is a little wonky... (as is my gait)
-11 WEEKS
So apparently this blog should actually be called "My Total Misconceptions about Pregnancy and Their Abrupt Debunking". The other day Ben pointed out that I am doing the "pregnancy waddle", and asked if I was playing it up as a joke. After I introduced him to my sidekick (for those of you who weren't ever 10, I did that by kicking him in the side), I told him that I actually hadn't even noticed a change in the way I was walking. But sure enough, after 10 seconds of paying attention, I realized he was totally right:
Again, an assumption of mine had up until then been that this particular gait is due to being a little off balance or something like that but NO. I tried to walk normally and immediately every muscle on the list of 42 muscles I have not ever been aware of having all started hurting. Oh relaxin, you're such a joke. I suppose I'm glad relaxin exists -- like when you're up in a tall building and you feel it sway in the wind and that totally freaks you out, but then you realize it's much better that it's flexible than if it were not -- but it's making me feel pretty silly:
Meanwhile, Eileen you were right -- Bugaboo moving around is now kinda hard to miss. My midwives in Chicago had mentioned to me early on that once I could feel fetal movements, I should pay attention to whether they became "reduced"or stopped for more than a couple of days and of course I PANICKED. OMG how will I know, I'm going to have to carry a log book and rate the strength and duration and type of each movement and run stats to make sure it stays constant, and maybe I'll get Ben in on it for inter-coder reliability..... Hahahaha nope. As it turns out, every time I realize it's been a few hours since I felt anything, within a few hours of that I will be stomped harder than ever before. This is my child:
So apparently this blog should actually be called "My Total Misconceptions about Pregnancy and Their Abrupt Debunking". The other day Ben pointed out that I am doing the "pregnancy waddle", and asked if I was playing it up as a joke. After I introduced him to my sidekick (for those of you who weren't ever 10, I did that by kicking him in the side), I told him that I actually hadn't even noticed a change in the way I was walking. But sure enough, after 10 seconds of paying attention, I realized he was totally right:
Me.
Again, an assumption of mine had up until then been that this particular gait is due to being a little off balance or something like that but NO. I tried to walk normally and immediately every muscle on the list of 42 muscles I have not ever been aware of having all started hurting. Oh relaxin, you're such a joke. I suppose I'm glad relaxin exists -- like when you're up in a tall building and you feel it sway in the wind and that totally freaks you out, but then you realize it's much better that it's flexible than if it were not -- but it's making me feel pretty silly:
Me again.
Meanwhile, Eileen you were right -- Bugaboo moving around is now kinda hard to miss. My midwives in Chicago had mentioned to me early on that once I could feel fetal movements, I should pay attention to whether they became "reduced"or stopped for more than a couple of days and of course I PANICKED. OMG how will I know, I'm going to have to carry a log book and rate the strength and duration and type of each movement and run stats to make sure it stays constant, and maybe I'll get Ben in on it for inter-coder reliability..... Hahahaha nope. As it turns out, every time I realize it's been a few hours since I felt anything, within a few hours of that I will be stomped harder than ever before. This is my child:
Announcements
-11 WEEKS
Thanks to the stupendous talents and awesomeness of my soon-to-be sister-in-law, we mailed these cheery announcements out to close friends and family last week! If you didn't get one, and would still like to know my address, just shoot me an email or facebook message.
Thanks to the stupendous talents and awesomeness of my soon-to-be sister-in-law, we mailed these cheery announcements out to close friends and family last week! If you didn't get one, and would still like to know my address, just shoot me an email or facebook message.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Still life in motion
-14 WEEKS
And today marks T-minus 100 days to my due date. Time to begin the double digit countdown! Still hasn't sunk in yet, but luckily we get 40 weeks to attempt to fathom it before we have to suddenly fathom the s--- out of it.
I'm still not totally sure how I feel about the moving and kicking and twisting and writhing stuff -- miraculous? yes. interesting? yes. reassuring? yes. weird? YES. I'm getting used to it now, but at first it was startling and strange.
A few months ago when I tried to imagine what The Quickening would feel like, I mused about this completely new sensation, unmatched in my proprioceptive repertoire. But as it turns out, again, my speculations make no sense. It just feels like what it is, someone moving and touching me, but THE CALL IS COMING FROM THE INSIDE OF THE HOUSE. Ahem. But yes, the novelty factor is not that it's a different sensation, it's that it's from an unexpected angle.
Things I do that make Bug Child squirm like a crazy person:
Things I do that make Bug Child instantly fall asleep and float quietly:
And today marks T-minus 100 days to my due date. Time to begin the double digit countdown! Still hasn't sunk in yet, but luckily we get 40 weeks to attempt to fathom it before we have to suddenly fathom the s--- out of it.
I'm still not totally sure how I feel about the moving and kicking and twisting and writhing stuff -- miraculous? yes. interesting? yes. reassuring? yes. weird? YES. I'm getting used to it now, but at first it was startling and strange.
A few months ago when I tried to imagine what The Quickening would feel like, I mused about this completely new sensation, unmatched in my proprioceptive repertoire. But as it turns out, again, my speculations make no sense. It just feels like what it is, someone moving and touching me, but THE CALL IS COMING FROM THE INSIDE OF THE HOUSE. Ahem. But yes, the novelty factor is not that it's a different sensation, it's that it's from an unexpected angle.
Things I do that make Bug Child squirm like a crazy person:
- eat a big meal (i.e. larger than 2 bites of apple)
- try to fall asleep
- wake up
- shift between any two positions
- sing
- sit quietly
Things I do that make Bug Child instantly fall asleep and float quietly:
- tell Ben that Bug Child is moving around a lot, so he should put his hand on my tummy so he can feel Bug Child move
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Go west, young woman.
-16 WEEKS
PHEW. Goodbye Chi-Town...
...hello sweet California.
I may be singing a different tune after a year or two, but from where I am right now, I'm not convinced I'll ever get used to how SWEET it smells here ALL THE TIME.
Chicago usually smells like asphalt and diesel. I'm not saying you never get a whiff of freshly mown grass, or sparkling lake air, or petrichor. I'm just saying it doesn't happen all day, every day (even e.g. December 3rd, from what I hear).
~~~
All things told, the drive was not so bad. The road trips in my most recent memory all involved 10-12 hour days, so 8 hours per day was refreshing. Even if it was 4 of them in a row.
~~~
And now I live in a gorgeous house...
...that TOTALLY DOESN'T still look like this everywhere but in the carefully framed photo above I SWEAR.
~~~
Thanks to Granny Annie for all the wonderful photographic evidence of this adventure!
PHEW. Goodbye Chi-Town...
...hello sweet California.
I may be singing a different tune after a year or two, but from where I am right now, I'm not convinced I'll ever get used to how SWEET it smells here ALL THE TIME.
Irises already there to greet me
Our Lisbon lemon tree
And the lemon flower is sweet
Chicago usually smells like asphalt and diesel. I'm not saying you never get a whiff of freshly mown grass, or sparkling lake air, or petrichor. I'm just saying it doesn't happen all day, every day (even e.g. December 3rd, from what I hear).
~~~
All things told, the drive was not so bad. The road trips in my most recent memory all involved 10-12 hour days, so 8 hours per day was refreshing. Even if it was 4 of them in a row.
We saw planes and trains,
Mr. Lincoln,
some fallen snow,
some falling snow (which was actually a huge problem),
storms gathering,
surreal, other-worldly saltscapes,
postcard-worthy scenes,
downright Windows-desktop-lookin' postcard-worthy scenes,
and we even picked up a hitchhiker (all the way from Nebraska to Sunnyvale).
(shhh, don't tell the CDFA)
And now I live in a gorgeous house...
...that TOTALLY DOESN'T still look like this everywhere but in the carefully framed photo above I SWEAR.
~~~
Thanks to Granny Annie for all the wonderful photographic evidence of this adventure!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Mama was a rollin stone
-17 WEEKS
The movers came at inappropriate o'clock last Monday morning to start packing everything we own. I had a lot of anxiety about how they would ever be able to do everything before the 4th of July, let alone in one day, but apparently 4 burly strangers with professional experience don't have the same kind of anxiety issues about moving as I do. They took 5 HOURS. And that doesn't count the 2 thirty minute breaks they took. Then they came back on Tuesday morning and loaded everything from my third floor walk-up onto a truck and again it took 5 hours. That's less than 8 episodes of West Wing. Guess how I know that.
And now I'm sitting on a windowsill, using an empty air mattress box as a footrest, and it's actually more comfortable than any chair we own (which are all somewhere in Iowa right now). I'll have to look into getting some better chairs.
The dogs are losing their hair in confusion and stress, but I think they should save some to lose during the 32 hour drive...
I'm doing quite well -- 23 weeks in today. Things I've eaten in the last month that I'm not supposed to eat: ham sandwiches, sausage, a spoonful of cookie dough, blue cheese, brie cheese, and sprouts. For some reason I'm ok with these exceptions, but have successfully avoided fried eggs with delicious runny yolks, which I miss dearly. In any case, I suspect that any deprivation-related stress at the sudden lack of ham sandwiches in my life would greatly outweigh the potential risks of eating said ham sandwich, even if I don't "heat until steaming" (who DOES that?).
The movers came at inappropriate o'clock last Monday morning to start packing everything we own. I had a lot of anxiety about how they would ever be able to do everything before the 4th of July, let alone in one day, but apparently 4 burly strangers with professional experience don't have the same kind of anxiety issues about moving as I do. They took 5 HOURS. And that doesn't count the 2 thirty minute breaks they took. Then they came back on Tuesday morning and loaded everything from my third floor walk-up onto a truck and again it took 5 hours. That's less than 8 episodes of West Wing. Guess how I know that.
And now I'm sitting on a windowsill, using an empty air mattress box as a footrest, and it's actually more comfortable than any chair we own (which are all somewhere in Iowa right now). I'll have to look into getting some better chairs.
The dogs are losing their hair in confusion and stress, but I think they should save some to lose during the 32 hour drive...
I'm doing quite well -- 23 weeks in today. Things I've eaten in the last month that I'm not supposed to eat: ham sandwiches, sausage, a spoonful of cookie dough, blue cheese, brie cheese, and sprouts. For some reason I'm ok with these exceptions, but have successfully avoided fried eggs with delicious runny yolks, which I miss dearly. In any case, I suspect that any deprivation-related stress at the sudden lack of ham sandwiches in my life would greatly outweigh the potential risks of eating said ham sandwich, even if I don't "heat until steaming" (who DOES that?).
Friday, March 15, 2013
Harder than I thought...
-19 WEEKS
Over the course of becoming someone ready to have a baby, I've heard a lot of opinions and facts about what being pregnant is like, and so far each little thing is being substantiated one by one. On the good side, there's enhanced body image, feeling kicks, vivid dreams, increased body awareness, not having to lift heavy things, maternity pillows, no period, glossy hair, water tasting extra good, a very zoomed out perspective on life, etc. And on the not as good side, there's mood swings, sore gums, no warning about needing to pee, fatigue, immunosuppression, morning sickness, runny nose, fatigue, weird skin stuff, shortness of breath, fatigue, "pregnancy brain", fatigue etc.
So before this even started, I had a pretty comprehensive schema in my head about what it was going to be like. And so far, indeed each individual piece is coming into focus. I simply had never thought about what it would be like to feel every single piece ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It's not episodic, where for a while I'm extra tired, then that stops while my teeth hurt for a while, then that stops so I can forget the word for what my dissertation is about during a meeting with my advisor. And for some reason I've spent my adult life accidentally imagining that's how it would be, without realizing how little sense that makes. Since that's not how real life actually works, and even though the properties of an event certainly are isolated if you think about each one in turn in an abstract sense, I'm totally overwhelmed by the relentless co-existence of all the new body/mind stuff all at once. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this crazy thing, but I have zero spare resources of any kind, which is unusual for me and unexpected.
Let's just say I never imagined being awakened from a weirdly vivid dream by a coughing fit that makes me pee a little while a baby kicks my kidney from the inside, so I try to get up to pee and realize I'm too tired to stand up, except I already slept in 2 hours later than I meant to, plus my lips are glued to my gums and I can't remember whether it's Sunday or Wednesday and that makes me start sobbing hysterically. I'm certain Ben will be glad when I arrive and love being part of everything, but I imagine he will also realize some unexpected nostalgia and a retroactive appreciation for his 10 weeks of alone time.
Over the course of becoming someone ready to have a baby, I've heard a lot of opinions and facts about what being pregnant is like, and so far each little thing is being substantiated one by one. On the good side, there's enhanced body image, feeling kicks, vivid dreams, increased body awareness, not having to lift heavy things, maternity pillows, no period, glossy hair, water tasting extra good, a very zoomed out perspective on life, etc. And on the not as good side, there's mood swings, sore gums, no warning about needing to pee, fatigue, immunosuppression, morning sickness, runny nose, fatigue, weird skin stuff, shortness of breath, fatigue, "pregnancy brain", fatigue etc.
So before this even started, I had a pretty comprehensive schema in my head about what it was going to be like. And so far, indeed each individual piece is coming into focus. I simply had never thought about what it would be like to feel every single piece ALL AT THE SAME TIME. It's not episodic, where for a while I'm extra tired, then that stops while my teeth hurt for a while, then that stops so I can forget the word for what my dissertation is about during a meeting with my advisor. And for some reason I've spent my adult life accidentally imagining that's how it would be, without realizing how little sense that makes. Since that's not how real life actually works, and even though the properties of an event certainly are isolated if you think about each one in turn in an abstract sense, I'm totally overwhelmed by the relentless co-existence of all the new body/mind stuff all at once. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this crazy thing, but I have zero spare resources of any kind, which is unusual for me and unexpected.
Let's just say I never imagined being awakened from a weirdly vivid dream by a coughing fit that makes me pee a little while a baby kicks my kidney from the inside, so I try to get up to pee and realize I'm too tired to stand up, except I already slept in 2 hours later than I meant to, plus my lips are glued to my gums and I can't remember whether it's Sunday or Wednesday and that makes me start sobbing hysterically. I'm certain Ben will be glad when I arrive and love being part of everything, but I imagine he will also realize some unexpected nostalgia and a retroactive appreciation for his 10 weeks of alone time.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Wave hello to Baby Bug
-20 WEEKS
MILESTONE: second ultrasound
Again this child enjoyed spending the entire hour of the ultrasound squirming in all directions except the one that would make the necessary measurements possible. Some of these I can interpret as human features and some I cannot, but here are all the pics I got today!
And yeah, sorry everyone for whom this is a bummer, but sex is a surprise. :D
MILESTONE: second ultrasound
Again this child enjoyed spending the entire hour of the ultrasound squirming in all directions except the one that would make the necessary measurements possible. Some of these I can interpret as human features and some I cannot, but here are all the pics I got today!
And yeah, sorry everyone for whom this is a bummer, but sex is a surprise. :D
Friday, January 18, 2013
Blurry, but distinctly baby-like
-27 WEEKS
MILESTONE: first ultrasound
terrible quality, but this kid is a gymnast. would. not. stop. moving. (in all directions except the one they needed to measure).
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
PewPewPewPewPewPew....
-30 WEEKS
MILESTONE: heard heartbeat
Ben tells me it took 90-120 seconds or so for the midwife to find the heartbeat, and that she reassured me exactly twice that (a) it sometimes takes a while to find a heartbeat when you're only 10-12 weeks in and that (b) she was notoriously bad at finding heartbeats quickly. I am convinced it took upwards of 10 minutes and that she reassured me about a dozen times. She was very calming, but it was basically the longest 90 seconds of my life.
MILESTONE: heard heartbeat
Ben tells me it took 90-120 seconds or so for the midwife to find the heartbeat, and that she reassured me exactly twice that (a) it sometimes takes a while to find a heartbeat when you're only 10-12 weeks in and that (b) she was notoriously bad at finding heartbeats quickly. I am convinced it took upwards of 10 minutes and that she reassured me about a dozen times. She was very calming, but it was basically the longest 90 seconds of my life.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Both expected and unexpected
-36 WEEKS
MILESTONE: tested positive
We really did guess it would take *at least* a couple or three months of trying. I feel extremely lucky that I didn't have to deal with any false starts, but at the time I was also feeling extremely flabbergasted (probably more so than was appropriate). We had indeed started earnestly trying, so we were ready, but maybe not *that* ready.
Me (in bathroom, to myself): Ooh, this is about the time these new-fangled pregnancy tests say they might be able to pick up a positive result. I have like a 20-pack, let's just see for funsies. .... And let's check... Huh.
Me: Hey Ben.
Ben: Hey what.
Me: Guess what happened.
Ben: You're late for brunch.
Me: Yes. But look what also happened.
Ben: Huh. Well that was fast.
Me: Yeah. Well. Huh.
And then I had brunch with Kelsey 20 minutes later and COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING. SO DIFFICULT.
MILESTONE: tested positive
We really did guess it would take *at least* a couple or three months of trying. I feel extremely lucky that I didn't have to deal with any false starts, but at the time I was also feeling extremely flabbergasted (probably more so than was appropriate). We had indeed started earnestly trying, so we were ready, but maybe not *that* ready.
Me (in bathroom, to myself): Ooh, this is about the time these new-fangled pregnancy tests say they might be able to pick up a positive result. I have like a 20-pack, let's just see for funsies. .... And let's check... Huh.
Me: Hey Ben.
Ben: Hey what.
Me: Guess what happened.
Ben: You're late for brunch.
Me: Yes. But look what also happened.
Ben: Huh. Well that was fast.
Me: Yeah. Well. Huh.
And then I had brunch with Kelsey 20 minutes later and COULDN'T SAY ANYTHING. SO DIFFICULT.
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