Mama was a rollin stone

-17 WEEKS

The movers came at inappropriate o'clock last Monday morning to start packing everything we own.  I had a lot of anxiety about how they would ever be able to do everything before the 4th of July, let alone in one day, but apparently 4 burly strangers with professional experience don't have the same kind of anxiety issues about moving as I do.  They took 5 HOURS.  And that doesn't count the 2 thirty minute breaks they took.  Then they came back on Tuesday morning and loaded everything from my third floor walk-up onto a truck and again it took 5 hours.  That's less than 8 episodes of West Wing.  Guess how I know that.

And now I'm sitting on a windowsill, using an empty air mattress box as a footrest, and it's actually more comfortable than any chair we own (which are all somewhere in Iowa right now).  I'll have to look into getting some better chairs.


The dogs are losing their hair in confusion and stress, but I think they should save some to lose during the 32 hour drive...

I'm doing quite well -- 23 weeks in today.  Things I've eaten in the last month that I'm not supposed to eat:  ham sandwiches, sausage, a spoonful of cookie dough, blue cheese, brie cheese, and sprouts.  For some reason I'm ok with these exceptions, but have successfully avoided fried eggs with delicious runny yolks, which I miss dearly.  In any case, I suspect that any deprivation-related stress at the sudden lack of ham sandwiches in my life would greatly outweigh the potential risks of eating said ham sandwich, even if I don't "heat until steaming" (who DOES that?).

Harder than I thought...

-19 WEEKS

Over the course of becoming someone ready to have a baby, I've heard a lot of opinions and facts about what being pregnant is like, and so far each little thing is being substantiated one by one.  On the good side, there's enhanced body image, feeling kicks, vivid dreams, increased body awareness, not having to lift heavy things, maternity pillows, no period, glossy hair, water tasting extra good, a very zoomed out perspective on life, etc.  And on the not as good side, there's mood swings, sore gums, no warning about needing to pee, fatigue, immunosuppression, morning sickness, runny nose, fatigue, weird skin stuff, shortness of breath, fatigue, "pregnancy brain", fatigue etc.


So before this even started, I had a pretty comprehensive schema in my head about what it was going to be like.  And so far, indeed each individual piece is coming into focus.  I simply had never thought about what it would be like to feel every single piece ALL AT THE SAME TIME.  It's not episodic, where for a while I'm extra tired, then that stops while my teeth hurt for a while, then that stops so I can forget the word for what my dissertation is about during a meeting with my advisor.  And for some reason I've spent my adult life accidentally imagining that's how it would be, without realizing how little sense that makes.  Since that's not how real life actually works, and even though the properties of an event certainly are isolated if you think about each one in turn in an abstract sense, I'm totally overwhelmed by the relentless co-existence of all the new body/mind stuff all at once.  Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this crazy thing, but I have zero spare resources of any kind, which is unusual for me and unexpected.


Let's just say I never imagined being awakened from a weirdly vivid dream by a coughing fit that makes me pee a little while a baby kicks my kidney from the inside, so I try to get up to pee and realize I'm too tired to stand up, except I already slept in 2 hours later than I meant to, plus my lips are glued to my gums and I can't remember whether it's Sunday or Wednesday and that makes me start sobbing hysterically.  I'm certain Ben will be glad when I arrive and love being part of everything, but I imagine he will also realize some unexpected nostalgia and a retroactive appreciation for his 10 weeks of alone time.

Wave hello to Baby Bug

-20 WEEKS

MILESTONE: second ultrasound

Again this child enjoyed spending the entire hour of the ultrasound squirming in all directions except the one that would make the necessary measurements possible.  Some of these I can interpret as human features and some I cannot, but here are all the pics I got today! 


And yeah, sorry everyone for whom this is a bummer, but sex is a surprise.  :D