Ben's post

-10 days (but not really)

I thought I had another week to get this written, but this baby is coming now and there's nothing to do but deal.  Motherbird says it's best to learn that babies have lousy timing sooner rather than later.

So how does it feel to know that I'm going to be a dad?  Suddenly very urgent.  It's scary.  I'm already visualizing all these ways I'm going to alternate between being a hero and a disappointment, a support and a barrier, a parent, a friend, and an adversary.  I hope this kid likes the best stuff I have to say and teach, and that he or she has good stuff to share with me.

I'm feeling more and more like an adult, whatever that means.  Seeing all that I've been doing to get the house (and myself) ready, and everything that Cal's been going through lately, has made me feel a connection to my parents via common experience that I've never felt before.  I have to imagine they felt the same kind of excited uncertainty.

Every now and again, I get a little weepy eyed thinking about the commitment that Cal and I have made to one another and how that's grown over the last decade.  At first it was just the two of us, then it was us and Aowie, and then we added the Sue.  I hope our little family receives this new addition with patience and love.

I'm feeling very reminded that Life is beautiful and weird and alien and sticky.

I hope I make a good dad.